I hate that Beck bloke. Not the musician. You know? The one who did ‘Loser’ and was a musical genius? Then it emerged he was a scientologist and all my respect for him seeped away like a leaking cistern. No I mean Glenn Beck of Fox News fame. The one who went on TV this week comparing the youth gathering on Utoya to a Hitler Youth rally.
That’s wrong on so many levels. Breivik’s appalling attack was precisely because it wasn’t like a Hitler Youth rally. It was just kids getting together. No racism, no book burning no pogroms. Unlike Beck, Breivik and the Nazi’s they identify with, like the EDF, these kids were looking at peaceful solutions to problems.
But that’s enough of that. Beck, scum that he is, has attracted enough attention with his comments from far better critics than I could ever manage. Just a shame the Moz Moz, obviously not satisfied with not being a hate figure for a while, had to go and throw his flippant McDonald’s comment into the mix to deflect a bit of scrutiny from Beck’s hateful bile.
Where was I? Oh yeah!
Fox News. You know foxes. Little blighters. Quite sweet to look at but also capable of killing stuff and getting into your bins. Little mammals thriving on the throwaway culture we live in? That’s the sort of Fox news I’m on about. You see last night I was on the train flicking through the London Evening Standard when this headline assaulted my eyes:
And look. There he is. Poor little doggie, with a little vet collar on. How sweet. I say doggie I mean half rat half dog. I own a dog (well bitch but no-one says that anymore do they?), a proper one, and she’d eat that thing for breakfast. Now the first thing that struck me about this was: What.The.Fuck? Why is this considered newsworthy? It’s so banal that it’s painful to even look at. I felt blinded by the sight of the glaringly obvious. I have a cat that was once savaged by a fox. No full-page splash with photos for that. What is there to say? Fox in garden. Sees rat. Attacks it. Goes home. I mean it’s hardly been savaged has it? Apart from the vet collar it looks fine. No lost eyes or bits ripped off. My cat lost his nuts to a fox. Where’s my headline?!?
It’s so anti-news that it belongs in some sort of alternate dimension where bizarre and appalling stuff like phone hacking, terrorist attacks, massacres, famines and wars are everyday and boring meaningless stuff like what people had for dinner, how their day was and how they slept were headline news. Maybe we’re creeping a bit closer to that world – I saw the Sun choosing to ignore the news of Sara Payne’s phone being hacked in favour of someone who fell asleep for 17 years. I mean. Jesus?!?
But this is about Foxes. Fox News! Right! So I was reading this fox attack and my rage felt familiar. Like I’d felt this EXACT Fox-based rage before. So I checked. And I had.
Flashback a couple of weeks and we have this little Fox news ditty (ahem they have actually taken the article off the ES site now maybe it’s just TOO controversial):
That’s right. A fox doing instinctively exactly what it is meant to do – being a carnivorous scavenger eating some smaller animals. SHOCK HORROR. Maybe Morrissey should come out and yarp on about how the Oslo killings aren’t a scratch on the global massacre of guinea pigs by foxes. Actually. No he shouldn’t because it’s trite and pathetic, like his McDonald’s comment.
OK so its sad to see the children upset here but this is NEWS not salty-tear-watch. If they printed a full-page piece every time a child cried the world would soon run out of trees.
But this really isn’t all. Flashback a bit further. A month ago let’s say. and we have this
Now I might be miscounting here but that’s 3 articles in just over a month. Hold it. I am miscounting. Cos Last week Kate Hoeyan MP whose web page is a throwback to teh interwebs of the 1990s (and whose hairstyle belongs firmly in the decade before that) issued a statement in the Standard denying that she wanted foxes culled:
And there were have it. A recent spate of Fox hysteria. Why? Because some MP wants to create a debate on the subject. That’s it. It’s that fucking simples. Foxes could go round eating rabbits all day long and they’d be as newsworthy as turds in a sewer if it wasn’t for the fact that Kate and her pals at the Evening Standard have decided that they want to have a debate about foxes and fox culling. So what happens is the Standard starts running regular panic stories about the urban fox population and Kate throws her weight behind some sort of campaign and there we have it. News and MPs colluding to influence the public into subscribing to a political agenda.
OK so there’s nothing new there. But in this world of phone hacking, war and terror I despair that a Kate and her pals at the Standard can even find the time to care about something as irrelevant as urban foxes doing the shizzlee they were born to do. Here’s a picture of a cute fox to offset all that nastiness: